"Nervous?" Just a little," she admitted shyly. "I want you to know, I'm clean. I had a full battery of blood tests on my last check up, no hepatitis, no HIV. I've never had an STD." He told her this, as in this day and age one could never be too careful. She blushed, "Um, thank you. I'm clean too. We have to have those tests done regularly, in the hospital I work at. No STD's for me either." It felt odd to be so frank with a man she had known just over a week, but she was glad he brought it up. They arrived at the cabin, and carried in the groceries together. So domestic, she thought, and smiled to herself. She had yet to see the cabin, and he encouraged her to explore as he put the groceries away. She went from room to room, the sitting/dining area, with the small stone fireplace, the bedroom with the massive king size bed with the fluffy duvet and down pillows, and the bathroom, she stopped in the bathroom, with a two person whirlpool tub, and a shower big enough for. The tears flowed down my face as the gravity of her sense of loss sank in to me. My own fears of hurting her more than I already had, kept me from carrying the battle for our child’s custody becoming a raging court issue. Her family and friends advised me the legal actions I had already taken were devastating her and if I won it would be at the cost of her sanity. I couldn’t hurt her anymore and our child was lost to us. All to soon, the first date ended and I asked if she would speak with me again. She agreed. Letting go of her hand that day was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. Our next date proceeded much like the first, walking about the campus discussing what we did while we were separated. I told her of the agony of going through drug withdrawal when breaking the habit. The vile, hateful things that spew from your mind and body as you try to find your way back to sanity. My quest to find and keep a job. My efforts to contact her directly, which were constantly.
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